Nope. Not Cas.

The kitchen is running fairly smoothly. I had a bit of trouble with one of the Junior boys, but literally every girl in there turned and glared at him and silently threatened him with whatever they had near them (Knives, frying pans, mops, serving trays, cheese graters and cucumbers) and he shut up.

I'm not sure how I did it, but I haven't broken down and started crying in front of everyone yet, so I think I'm doing pretty good. Not emotionally, I mean acting wise.

We got fairly good news. Dad called back in, but now that the kitchen thing is on my shoulders... I haven't gotten a moment of emotional peace.

I'm just very, very stressed out. So today, I happily, but a little tiredly waved everyone out of the kitchen and started to work on the menu for the next week.

But I couldn't focus, so I left.

There are these tiny little balconies off the library and that's where I went, slipping out the doors and letting the white curtains slide shut behind me.

The summer breeze is very calming, and normally that's all I need to calm myself down. Sit outside, breathe and look at the stars.

But not tonight. I ended up curled in a little ball, knees tucked to my chest, crying.

Sometimes you just need to get tears out of your system, so I sat and cried as silently as I could. I was just about finished when I heard footsteps behind me and the curtains swishing open.

Great.

 I sighed and said "I'm really not in the mood."

Nothing.

"I'm fine, Cas. I just don't want to talk about it."

"Fine." A voice that was diffidently NOT Cas said. "I'll just stand here."

I whipped my head around. Alex. Bloody Alex.

Crud..

Well, it kind of was too late to hide the fact that I was sobbing by myself, but I tried.

"Oh, hey!" I said, in a fairly normal voice, which would have been extremely convincing if my throat wasn't clogged up and if mascara wasn't running down my face.
"What are you doing? What do you think of my crying? I've been practicing FOREVER to get it right. It's so hard to get the sniffle right, you know...." I probably would have kept babbling on, but Alex snapped "Would you cut the crap? Since when have you had to pretend around me?"

The happy but very fake smile dropped away, but it wasn't Sad Me that appeared.
"Since you lied to me, tricked me and had me tortured?"

"First of all, it was interrogation, NOT torture..."I snorted but he kept going "And second, it was training, Nobody got hurt...."

"I've got split lip selfies that tell a different story."

"That wasn't supposed to happen. Kat, I wouldn't hurt you...."

"Can you even hear yourself?" I screeched. "You lied and acted to get close to me, and then used everything you had learned against me."

"I wasn't even in charge of your interrogation process! What are you getting mad at me for?"

"You had no idea what they were doing with me? Then why did you have the bloody fake split lip?"

"That? That was for one of the other girls. The dark haired senior who  doesn't like seeing other people getting hurt. Why? What does that have to do with you?"

"Idiot" was all I said as I went to walk past him. He grabbed my arm and asked. "What? What is that supposed to mean?"

I face burned. There was no way I was going to tell him that they had used him against me. And that it had worked.  "If you care so much, go look at the security videos."
Startled, just stood there as I jerked my arm free and walked away. "But don't worry. It won't work ever again."  I called over my shoulder and walked out of the library.

I couldn't go back to my room, not like this. So I walked down and out the front door and went for a quick run in the woods. When I left, Alex was still standing in the balcony door way.

-K