Broken Trust

This morning I did my run, and headed to the P&E Barn. I hadn't boxed in awhile, and I could let off some steam. There's the problem with Cas, and the tension in the dorm.

Anyway, so I started boxing. I was playing a fun little game where I listen to a song, and box until the song is over. Then I take a quick couple minute break and repeat. I was doing the second round when Alex walked in.

It is really easy to loose focus on your surroundings when your wearing earbuds, but I am a trained  spy you know, and situational awareness is something we work on constantly. But I kept my face natural, like I didn't even notice him. Hiding emotions in one of my specialties.

The gym was empty and he stepped up to a nearby heavy bag and started boxing. I could see him glanced over once and awhile, but I never turned his way. I didn't even say hi.

If I had wanted him to think that I was completely over it, I would have glanced over once when he walked in, then gone back to ignoring him.  

But I didn't. I gave him a cold shoulder. I totally and utterly shunned him. The only time I reacted to him at all was when he turned and said hi.

I didn't even look his way. I just picked up my phone and turned the volume up.
(sadly, listening to music is one of the few things I can do on my phone.)

I'm 95% certain he saw me turn it up. I saw him wilt a little in the reflection of my water bottle.

Good.

I kept ignoring him until the end of that round. Then I stopped and calmly started packing everything up. I kept my ear buds in the whole time. I finished by wrapping my earbuds around my phone.

Alex stopped and walked over.

"Kat..."
"What?" I said, turning sharply on my heel and crossing my arms. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"I said I'm sorry. Why do you still hate me?" he asked

"First of all," I said, in an angry clipped voice "I don't hate you."
He looked a little relived and I went on. "I'm disappointed. In you, and in me. Why did I even trust you?"

"Kat..."

"I trusted you." my voice broke a little here, but I was stronger when I said "That's a mistake I won't make again."

Then I turned on my heel and walked away.

-K

Fruit Ninja. Gallagher Style

I was in the P&E Barn practicing my sword skills. All Gallagher Girls have to be proficient in two weapons. Mine are hand guns and knives. I prefer knives to swords because I feel like they are easier to use. I use double knives to fight and work on knife throwing.

Sometimes I use a sword though, because Lily and The Twins came up with a fruit ninja game last year.
Using real fruit of course. No bombs, sorry. Headmistress Morgan said we couldn't do that. Party Pooper.

Luckily, Lily fixed the mechanism so that it doesn't take two people (one to run the fruit launcher and another to chop) so I was out...well, chopping. I decided to make a fruit salad.
(Since Louis isn't here, I've been making most of the food ever since I tried Headmistress Morgan's food *Gag* )

Anyway, a band of boys came in. (Alec wasn't with them) They had never seen the fruit ninja machine, since it was under a tarp in the back.

One of them looked especially interested, (they aren't terrified of a knife throwing mad man. woman. girl. whatever. I don't think they like Peter...) and while the rest of the boys pretended to spar, he came over right away. I recognized him as one of the seniors. He eyes lit up and he asked if he could try it. I had barely said yes when he sprinted off. He came back with his sword case and pulled out his rapier.

He went at the fruit with a skill and joy I had only seen once. When I ran out of fruit, he stood, light footed, breathing lightly and grinning like a child at Christmas.
"I've got to introduce you to Tansy" I said thinking of the tall thin senior who loved her rapier.

I had to leave about then to make dinner, so I told him how to run the machine and showed him the practice targets, which were fruit shaped foam. (Even we don't have THAT much fruit) and then I left for the kitchen.

Tansy is going to enjoy this semester. Finally someone who she can talk to about rapiers. Seriously if I had to listen to another "Rapier Vs Something Inferior" talk or He's not holding his rapier right comment about a movie, I think I would have shoved something down her throat.

-K

I'm Fine. I lie

Lily and Jess keep trying to cheer me up. I didn't tell them, but I think they could tell I was feeling a bit off.
Plus Headmistress Morgan told them

They offered to take me back home with them, or they offered to ask their parents if they could stay.

I told them no. I was fine.

Gah.

I hate lying to my friends.

At least I don't have to act as much, now that they have gone home. It is kind of nice to be by myself in the dorm and to wander the empty halls. I can vent my pain on the heavy bags in an empty Training Barn with no one to see my pain

-K