Hey

Ummm.



Hey guys, I see Lily went ahead and hacked in to tell you what was up.



There was the cliff and Alex, like the idiot he is, slipped over it. I grabbed his hand and was mostly holding him up. But then the log I was bracing my foot against slipped and we both went over.

Luckily, the cliff was a pretty small cliff.

Unluckily, there was a steep hill at the top.
And we rolled a good deal before we finally stopped.

And I sprained my ankle on the way down and so when I went to get up at the bottom of the hill, I blacked out from the unexpected pain.

Anyway, I guess Alex doesn't have a lot of experience in wilderness survival, because he just sat there. Probably would have been better to wake me back up somehow or if he tried and couldn't get me up, then he should have hiked back up to the cliff and gotten the attention of the group.

But he didn't.

By the time I came around, it was getting dark.

The hill would have been hard and I couldn't have got up the cliff at the end if I wanted to so we decided to start moving in the other direction,

Thanks to all Dad's training, I'd remembered to look at the maps before we came.

(We were supposed to be left, but we thought it was another one of Mr. Solomon's end of the year tests, so we thought that we were supposed to find our way back.)

So, more or less, I made a wrap for my foot, grabbed a stick and we started hoofing it toward diagonally across the woods toward the nearest town.

We traveled until it was too dark to see, made a little shelter off to one side )By made, I mean Alex carried sticks and I pointed. Ok, not really. He found material and I wove it into a small lean to.) and slept.

Got up, found food and water. Filled out canteens.  Moved out again.





We made it up onto the road and started walking  for the  town

Once we we're up on the road, walking was a little easier because the ground was flat. I also took a pain killer from my mini first aid kit and Alex was lending a hand. At first I didn't want to accept any help, but my foot,,,,ow.

We made it into town in the late afternoon and cleaned ourselves up a little bit. (We didn't want to attract too much attention to ourselves and therefore our schools)

Dad is always telling my brother and me that we need to make sure we carry money in our survival kits and I made a mini survival kit that I can keep in my pocket which, luckily had enough money to buy us lunch and rent one room in the local motel.

We hung around the dinner for the evening, eating our sandwich and drinking coffee. (They had free coffee refills)

Then we went by the motel and ummmm....we're too fairly young people.....getting ONE room.  (it was either two rooms and no food, or food and one room)

Luckily, we both look pretty mature, so we told the lady at the desk that we were married. (I know. The married couple is SO cliche, but we din't have a lot of time to think of another cover story ok?)

Anyway, the lady must have been pretty bored, because instead of just giving us a key and letting us go, she  started walking us to our room.


And I was pretending that my foot was fine, which is physically and mentally exhausting....and it HURTS.

I must have winced or something because Alex turned and tried to ask me if I was ok.
I said my foot hurt and I was just going to lean on his shoulder (that's something couples do, right?) but Alex just turned and picked me up, bridal style and started walking faster to catch up with the lady.

So we walked past her, opened the door, and went in. The Alex set me down and latched the door and...well, my foot was in a lot of pain and it was kind of swollen and he kind of set me down really fast....well.....I passed out from the pain.

I said I was fine, and asked him was time it was. Only a couple minutes had passed, which was good. I sat up (which hurt) and looked around the room for a phone. Alex saw me look and asked what I was looking for.
He said he'd already looked. There was no room phone, but there was a phone down in the lobby.

So then Alex took one of the spare blankets and half the pillows, made a bed on the couch (a couch, but not phone?) and we went to sleep.

We woke up, I called Gallagher and we ate our complimentary breakfast. By the time we were done...Joe Solomon and Grant were there and we went home.

Then they bundled me up to the nurse who set my foot,(turns out, it was broken.) and told me to stay in bed the next couple days. (I was also a little dehydrated and I hadn't eaten well the last couple days...)

Anyway, so I was in bed for a couple days. 

I started to get up and about with the use of crutches to go to class. 

I had to sit out P&E :(  but I started back into everything else, getting ready for finals. 

Because of my broken foot, I wasn't allowed to go to the end of year ball. Mr. Solomon said something like I'd already proved myself with covers and blah blah blah. 

(Alex got to go.) 

Anyway, he showed up in the hospital room all the time to talk to me while I was in there and we were friends again after. 

And guess what. 

When they left.....

I had a boyfriend. 

*squeal*

-K

WHY ME?

I so, so, so sorry I haven't posted in forever. But I getting ready a week long wilderness survival course.

Which should be awesome right? I mean, Dad teaches Wilderness Survival to CIA recruits and my brother is in special forces and I am addicted to learning which plants to eat and which one to poison people with and all.

A fun chance to spend some time with my friends in the wood right?


WRONG.


Apparently, "my teamwork with the boys is lacking and I need to work harder on that or something."

So they paired me up with....

You guessed it.


Alex.



Bleh.


I've been working so hard on avoiding him...and then this.



WHY ME?

WHY?


-K

What The Hell?

This morning, we were all standing around, waiting for breakfast to start (We were mainly talking about whether we thought the waffles I made would turn out soft and fluffy like Chef Louis's always did, or if they would be really gross). The meal started, we grabbed our food, and still chatting, sat at our usual table. 

And then Alex, David, and Pitt slid into seats at the table.

(What the hell?) 

Without looking the least bit uncomfortable, they just sat down, chatting about some video game thing or other. 

We were all sort of dumbfounded. Then Jess started talking to David and within a few seconds, Lily was bickering with Pitt. Cas rolled her eyes at me and put in her earbuds. Alex turned away from his discussion with David and Jess long enough to meet my glare with a insufferable smirk and say "We are starting over, aren't we?" 

Then. I kid you not, he twitched his eyebrow up, and with one eyebrow up and that....THAT....smirky half smile thing, he turned and went back to his discussion. 

I'll ask again.

What

The 

Hell?

-K

Start Over

The meeting was set for five o'clock in the afternoon, in the woods, by the stream (Yes. That stream.)
 4: 15, Operative Edgeworth arrived at site.
 4: 56, Operative  Hawkins arrived, sat down on the log on the north end of the clearing and waited
 5: 15, Operative Hawkins was seen to be a little on edge. A started pacing and looking at his watch.
 5: 30 Operatives, Demos, Peterson, and Hawn arrived at scene.
Operative Peterson asked what he was doing here and where the hell Operative Edgeworth was.
5: 01, due  to the heated attitude, Operative Edgeworth dismounted from her awesome hiding place in the nearby oak tree.
And scared the hell out of everyone.

--                                                                               ---                                                                         --

They all jumped when I appeared. Alex had just finished saying.

"Please. I just want to talk to her." 

So I said, "Why? What could you possible have to say to me."

"I...." He seemed a little at lost for words. "I...didn't know." 

I snorted. "Obviously."
"What am I supposed to say?"
"How about nothing?"
"If you didn't want to talk to me, why did you set up these meeting?"
"So you would leave me alone!"
"Kat...."
I turned and glared at him.
"Can't we just start over?" he asked.
"Fine." I turned and walked to the other end of the clearing and started walking towards him. "You do remember I threw a book at your head?"
Then I turned and Lily said, "WHO ARE THEY???"
I smirked, remembering when Lily and Jess first saw Alex, in that cafeteria room so long ago. What they said before they walked over and sat at our table...
"Oh, yeah. I may have forgot to tell you that the Blackthorne boys are here."
"Katherine!" Jess said in a high pitched voice, mimicking her surprise and anger on that day.
"Ooooh,  who's the hottie?" Lily asked, glancing at Alex. He stood confused on the other end of the clearing.
"Looks like a real heart breaker." Jess commented.
"Oh no. Here they come." Lily whispered hurriedly.

"What?" Alex asked, starting to walk across the clearing. "What was that all about?"
Jess stepped in front of me. "That was, word for word, what we said when we first saw you."
Cas stepped up beside Jess. "Consider yourself started over."
"Kat..." Alex started, sounding a little annoyed. He stepped closer, but the girls closed around me in a ring and we walked out of the clearing without a backwards glance, leaving Alex behind.

-K

Meeting Arranged

As soon as class was out last Tuesday, Alex must have gone to look at the security cameras from the class. We were all allowed to look at them, for training purposes, but not many people did (because it still makes all the girls mad.) I could tell he hadn't looked at them before, because he looked like he was still in the dark. He still didn't realize...

That afternoon, he came jogging up to where I was watching TV with Cas, Jess and Lily. They didn't know about out talk, but they did know that I didn't want to be around him, So I just kind of ignored him and let them chase him away.

And this went on for days. One of them was always near by and ready to chase him away. Cas would just step in front of him and say something cutting until he left. Jess would bluntly tell him to leave, and Lily (Which is kind of ironic.) glared at him with a look that said, "Just try and annoy my bestie. I have a new gadget that I want to try out. Hopefully it will make you scream and twitch on the floor." After a few days, he got the message and left me alone. Or at least, he stopped trying to talk to me.  Then he left me a message in my cookbook.

"Kat, 
Please just hear me out.
-Alex"

I mulled it over for awhile and then, yesterday as I was passing him in the hall, I ran into him. Or he ran into me. I'm not sure which.

"Watch it!" I snapped.
And we were past each other.

In a few minutes, he would notice the note backpack. I'd agreed to meet him. Tuesday night.  (because we had a couple papers due that night and a movie marathon tonight.)

Let's hope nothing horrible happens.

-K

Nope. Not Cas.

The kitchen is running fairly smoothly. I had a bit of trouble with one of the Junior boys, but literally every girl in there turned and glared at him and silently threatened him with whatever they had near them (Knives, frying pans, mops, serving trays, cheese graters and cucumbers) and he shut up.

I'm not sure how I did it, but I haven't broken down and started crying in front of everyone yet, so I think I'm doing pretty good. Not emotionally, I mean acting wise.

We got fairly good news. Dad called back in, but now that the kitchen thing is on my shoulders... I haven't gotten a moment of emotional peace.

I'm just very, very stressed out. So today, I happily, but a little tiredly waved everyone out of the kitchen and started to work on the menu for the next week.

But I couldn't focus, so I left.

There are these tiny little balconies off the library and that's where I went, slipping out the doors and letting the white curtains slide shut behind me.

The summer breeze is very calming, and normally that's all I need to calm myself down. Sit outside, breathe and look at the stars.

But not tonight. I ended up curled in a little ball, knees tucked to my chest, crying.

Sometimes you just need to get tears out of your system, so I sat and cried as silently as I could. I was just about finished when I heard footsteps behind me and the curtains swishing open.

Great.

 I sighed and said "I'm really not in the mood."

Nothing.

"I'm fine, Cas. I just don't want to talk about it."

"Fine." A voice that was diffidently NOT Cas said. "I'll just stand here."

I whipped my head around. Alex. Bloody Alex.

Crud..

Well, it kind of was too late to hide the fact that I was sobbing by myself, but I tried.

"Oh, hey!" I said, in a fairly normal voice, which would have been extremely convincing if my throat wasn't clogged up and if mascara wasn't running down my face.
"What are you doing? What do you think of my crying? I've been practicing FOREVER to get it right. It's so hard to get the sniffle right, you know...." I probably would have kept babbling on, but Alex snapped "Would you cut the crap? Since when have you had to pretend around me?"

The happy but very fake smile dropped away, but it wasn't Sad Me that appeared.
"Since you lied to me, tricked me and had me tortured?"

"First of all, it was interrogation, NOT torture..."I snorted but he kept going "And second, it was training, Nobody got hurt...."

"I've got split lip selfies that tell a different story."

"That wasn't supposed to happen. Kat, I wouldn't hurt you...."

"Can you even hear yourself?" I screeched. "You lied and acted to get close to me, and then used everything you had learned against me."

"I wasn't even in charge of your interrogation process! What are you getting mad at me for?"

"You had no idea what they were doing with me? Then why did you have the bloody fake split lip?"

"That? That was for one of the other girls. The dark haired senior who  doesn't like seeing other people getting hurt. Why? What does that have to do with you?"

"Idiot" was all I said as I went to walk past him. He grabbed my arm and asked. "What? What is that supposed to mean?"

I face burned. There was no way I was going to tell him that they had used him against me. And that it had worked.  "If you care so much, go look at the security videos."
Startled, just stood there as I jerked my arm free and walked away. "But don't worry. It won't work ever again."  I called over my shoulder and walked out of the library.

I couldn't go back to my room, not like this. So I walked down and out the front door and went for a quick run in the woods. When I left, Alex was still standing in the balcony door way.

-K

Nobody Even Sees Me

My parents still haven't called back in.
Nothing is certain yet. There is still hope they'll make it back to us.

If not....how will I tell my brother?


All these students, trained to observe and to notice, can't see what I'm feeling.
What I'm going through.

But then again I suppose I've been trained to hide my feelings.

Cas knows. After we met each other, trying to hide out tears in one of the not so secret tunnels, we told each other our problems
My missing parents and her dead mother and her still grieving father.

Her mother, an excellent spy, died of cancer a few years ago. Her father has been trying to work though his grief by constantly working.
He's forgotten his daughter is grieving too.

Another person who notices is Alex.
It's just like last time.


Except there will never be a time like last time.
Last time,
He was just a boy. A boy who understood what I was going through. A boy that was there for me.

But then he betrayed me.
He broke my trust.

I can never trust him again.

And sometimes I have to remind myself of that. Sometimes I glance over at him and see him looking so concerned and worried, I have to remind myself to stay away.
I have to tell myself not to trust him.

Not again.

I don't need my heart broken again.

-K

*SIGH*

Every thing is a mess.

I'm worried about my parents. They don't normally go on missions. What if they were compromised? What if they're out of practice? Why didn't they call in?

Nobody notices. Lily is busy with some project or other that see is working on with the twins and I barely even see her. Jess is filling her time clinging to David or glaring at the new girl.
She isn't even really a new girl anyway. She's been here two weeks.

Oddly, she's one of the few people who knows. Well, I don't think she knows about my parents. I mean, she is one of the few people who notices that something is wrong. She just glances up with those deep green eyes of hers like she's seen all the pain in the world.

Everyone else is a adult. They just give me those sympathetic glances when they walk by.

The other student who knows is Alex. He just looks at me with those bloody concerned eyes. But he stays away. Ever since the gym, he's kept his distance.

I not still mad at him. I avoid him because I'm so ....emotionally conflicted right now. About him. About my parents.

I just....

I need time to think.

-K

Broken Trust

This morning I did my run, and headed to the P&E Barn. I hadn't boxed in awhile, and I could let off some steam. There's the problem with Cas, and the tension in the dorm.

Anyway, so I started boxing. I was playing a fun little game where I listen to a song, and box until the song is over. Then I take a quick couple minute break and repeat. I was doing the second round when Alex walked in.

It is really easy to loose focus on your surroundings when your wearing earbuds, but I am a trained  spy you know, and situational awareness is something we work on constantly. But I kept my face natural, like I didn't even notice him. Hiding emotions in one of my specialties.

The gym was empty and he stepped up to a nearby heavy bag and started boxing. I could see him glanced over once and awhile, but I never turned his way. I didn't even say hi.

If I had wanted him to think that I was completely over it, I would have glanced over once when he walked in, then gone back to ignoring him.  

But I didn't. I gave him a cold shoulder. I totally and utterly shunned him. The only time I reacted to him at all was when he turned and said hi.

I didn't even look his way. I just picked up my phone and turned the volume up.
(sadly, listening to music is one of the few things I can do on my phone.)

I'm 95% certain he saw me turn it up. I saw him wilt a little in the reflection of my water bottle.

Good.

I kept ignoring him until the end of that round. Then I stopped and calmly started packing everything up. I kept my ear buds in the whole time. I finished by wrapping my earbuds around my phone.

Alex stopped and walked over.

"Kat..."
"What?" I said, turning sharply on my heel and crossing my arms. "What could you possibly have to say to me?"

"I said I'm sorry. Why do you still hate me?" he asked

"First of all," I said, in an angry clipped voice "I don't hate you."
He looked a little relived and I went on. "I'm disappointed. In you, and in me. Why did I even trust you?"

"Kat..."

"I trusted you." my voice broke a little here, but I was stronger when I said "That's a mistake I won't make again."

Then I turned on my heel and walked away.

-K

"Miss Balli"

Oh wow.

You would not believe what Lily just found.

The reason why Cas got kicked out of her old school is she "pranked" someone....

While, according to the article Lily found, "Miss Balli is known for her pranks, she took this one a little to far."

And yes. I know. Her name is Demos. So they school must have changed her name when the reporters showed up. Reporters tend to do that when they notice a boy tied up and hanging out the upper window of a boarding school.

And yes. That's what she did. I don't know why she did it...but that was diffidently her face smirking out the window. I wonder what he did to annoy her.

Hmmm.

Maybe I can get her to do something to Alex....


-K

Madame D's Surprise.

A tea party.

Of course.

We split into two groups, half pretended to be servants half pretended to be gentry. And then we switched. Of course we all had cover stories.

I was a servant for the first round. Jess was gentry. Alex was "gentry" too.
I tried to tell D'aja to go around a serve Alex's side of the table, but she didn't see me and went around the other way.

Drat.

So I went around the table, pouring tea and smiling.
"More tea?" I asked Alex politely.
"Yes, please."
I leaned over him and started pouring.
"You're smiling." he said
"Yes."
"Do you like me again?"
"No. I'm acting." I said and turned to leave.
"That's not your fake smile."
I turned back. "Maybe that was my real smile. Maybe this is my fake smile. Maybe it was all an act. Maybe you don't know me as well as you think. I sure as hell don't know you as well as I thought."

And I left.

He kept trying to catch my eye, but I ignored him.

Round Two:
Alex made sure he was serving my side of the table. How un-clandestine. I thought. When he came around he whispered " Kat. Please, I...."
"Just pour the tea and get away from me." I growled.
"I ...." he started again.
I discretely spilled my tea cup. Golden brown liquid soaked into the white table cloth and spilled onto my school uniform. I whipped at it with a napkin.
"Oh! You clumsy fool!" I screeched at him. D'aja, who was playing hostess told Alex to leave. He shot me a look, trying to read my expression. I looked away, toward the boy on my left. In the reflection of my spoon, I could see Alex watching me  from his place along the wall.

I think I made my point

-K
\

Trust

Nothing much going on to day. 

Here's a little update: 

Average day up ahead, 

I have my Polish-English translations due, a project involving rappelling cord and earbuds needs to be tested with Jess.and  Madame D has hinted about something special today. 

I'm still not talking in Alex. Most of the girls here ave forgiven them, but I don't trust people easily. It takes a lot to get me to open up. 

And when people break that trust.....

-K

Here's what I've Learned:

• The exercise was planned by Blackthorne Boys, with the permission of Joe Solomon. They wanted to practice their kidnapping skills, basically plus how to interrogate people based of what you know about them.
• It was only the Sophomores. 
• The boys planned most of it and decided to have it on Valentine's despite Joe and Grants suggestions to move it to a different day
• Still not talking to Alex, who seems to have recovered from his back pain from being flipped into a wall. He keeps trying to talk to me. But guess what? I don't care anymore!
• Four Sophomores Blackthorne boys were hospitalized with minor injures from P&E, and two from the Freshman year class. 
• All the girls seem pretty mad and some of the older boys glare at the sophomores every once and awhile. '

That aside, it was still an ok training session. It was pretty realistic, though it's normally longer. There was all the mental interrogation. It was kind of interesting.


You know, now that I know that it wasn't a group trying to kidnap us, and learn the secrets of our sisterhood!

(Still mad at Alex)

-K

Lily and Pitt

A lot of the Guy-Girl pairings (as guides I mean) have really hit it off (Me and Alex, Jess and David, Tansy and Lance, etc)

But not all.

I'm talking about Lily and Pitt.

Pitt is king of cute, I guess. But he is also really annoying and arrogant. Or at least that's what Lily says. Also that he's a show off, brags, etc.

Ummmm. He IS a teenage boy...

Besides Lily is kind of a wild and free type of girl. She doesn't have time for "that crap"
She needs her musicals, her cover designs, her TV shows and music.

And he wont leave her alone. She is pretty sure he has a crush on her and she is trying to devise ways to "bump him off"


NOT LITERALLY! (Though she totally could)

I mean to "lose" him

(MOST do not involve losing him. That one that involves sticking unconscious him on a plane to Arizona. Or the one that involves leaving him in the woods....locking him in a closet.... Ok. Some of them involve losing him somewhere.)

(She is plotting on the other side of our bedroom right now.)

-K

Awkward and Awesome: Assorted Stuff

Awkward: 

• Empty snack boxes. I have been betrayed! 
• When your family is gone and you miss them, but you can't talk about it because you'll break down and cry
• When your nails are perfect and they are almost dry and then YOU TOUCH SOMETHING
• Even though your cover story is a snobby rich girl, you have no money
• When you use your roomies shampoo and don't tell them...
  "Why is your hair so sleek and shinny today, Kat?"                                                                       "I have NO idea! Maybe its the weather? Or the new pillowcases?" (Lies.) 
• When people think your name is Cat, *Meow*
• When people see you cry
• Dumb spy movies (I CAN SEE YOUR COMS. STICK THEM BACK IN YOUR EAR! AGH!)

Awesome: 

• Waffles. With strawberries and whip cream. 
• When you get into a flow while boxing or training
• Acting. Cover stories. 
• Yoga pants
• Cats
• Alec (Don't tell him I said that) 
• My roomies
• When your eyeliner is perfect... On BOTH eyes!
• A warm mug of tea
• Stretching 
• Sun Beams 
• Movie Marathons
• New pony tail holders
• Spy movies 
• A new cute outfit 

1 Month

Tomorrow it will be one month since I met Alec.

So I am going to do a special post just about him:


Things I know about him:

• His write his name Alex. With an X. I've been wrong all this time. Note: From now on his name will be written right, but I am not changing the label from Alec because that takes to long (Maybe some day....) 
• He notices things. 
• He is really sweet, but also kind of badass
• He fights with a stick. But a really cool stick. Sometimes he splits it apart and fights with two short sticks! (Think Bobbie Morse. Except not in metal. And not electric. He should get one like hers....) 
• He does not have green eyes. He had hazel eyes. Hazel eyes are the ones that seem to change between different colors (Like brown and green) Mine do this too. Mine tend to look dark green most of the time, but they change based on what color I have near my eyes (Aka: Shirt color)
• He is on the Cov-Ops track. (In case the stick thingy didn't tip you off) 
• As far as I know, he doesn't know how awesome he looks. Please stop combing your hair with your fingers. Are you trying to kill me?!?
• We don't really spend that much time together....I mean, we both run in the mornings and are normally there at the same time, we have classes together, and he sits at the same table during meals (Because of his buddies Pitt and David) So yeah, I guess we spend some time together, but not really "together"... 
• His last name is Hawkins. No, he isn't related to Steven Hawking. (Kat Hawkins...sounds nice.) 
• He is pretty fit, even for a spy boy. 
• He also likes the Cold War Era! YAY! Common interest! 

Things I don't know: 

• Just about anything about his family
• His birthday( It might be on his file....Maybe Lily will hack it?)
• If he likes me or is just being nice because I'm crazy
• What does he want to do. Secret Service? CIA? MI6? FBI? 
• Where he lives. Like, not even what state. Does he even live in the USA? (He does have a pretty good British accent...what if it's not fake?!?) 
• What his favorite color is, favorite food, internal emotional problems...all the things he knows about me.

-K